Pointless?

I’ve been thinking.  If I want a job the odds will be against me.  Think about it this way.  I need experience and if I can’t find a job how will I gain some experience?  It defeats the person.  I wish things were easier for me.  I hate working with somebody else to help me obtain a job, but I need someone fighting for me.  It appears I can’t sufficiently fend for myself for interviews.  How pathetic is that?  I just want to find easily without being considered retarded or something else.  I want to be more independent when it comes to that.  Finding a job is the most important thing for me and it should be.  I feel like a parasite.  Leeching off of the government because of my lackluster shortcomings.  Wish me luck I guess.  I’m going to need it.  

I Have No Say In Anything

I need to avoid all social media sites because I have no right to speak my mind.  Everything I post on Facebook goes completely ignored, but someone can post the most idiotic thing and gets input.  I asked if I could see a high school book, but everyone is too good for a retarded bastard like me.  I’m tired of not being liked by anyone.  I feel completely alone and deactivated my Facebook for good this time.  I’m just pissed for not mattering to at least one other person.

Funny What the Psychiatrist Said

When I was told I was being discharged the psychiatrist there told me that he couldn’t do anything about my cutting and he wished me luck.  I know he knows there’s no stopping what I’m going to do.  At least he was honest.  The attorney was also honest with me.  I was going to fight this, but I knew I had no chance.  He agreed with me after I said that.  I appreciate his honest, but the doctor acted like he knew I’m going to harm myself and he doesn’t care at all.  I’m not mad at him because I would’ve said the same thing if I was in his situation.  I have an appointment tomorrow at 11:00 in the morning, but I won’t be here for that.  Why would I?  They treat me like shit and just want to control my every move.  I’m surprised they don’t think they have the authority to tell me when to breathe and not.  I know that’s going a tad too far, but fuck them.