I’m tired of being so lonely, but with this current situation I find myself in there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m in crisis housing and can’t leave the fucking place. It’s unfair and I need some damn freedom! That’s asking for too much. Sorry about this complaining, but I have an unwanted surgery today and I’m forced to go with someone I can’t stand.
Category: complain
Can’t Stay Quiet About This Anymore
I’m fed up with the music scene. That’s the main reason I stick with YouTube and avoid the radio at all costs. The main problem is that I’m tired of no talent hacks selling so many albums while music I listen to gets ignored almost completely. I’m also annoyed that so many bands call it quits for financial reasons. Oh well though. I’ll just continue listening to Thy Art Is Murder and shut my damn mouth.
Gotta Look Up
Even though I have some difficulties and awkwardness my struggles aren’t as bad as this woman with cerebral palsy. She deals with it better than I would. I’m a weak person that gives up easily. Yes, I’m typing one handed on my laptop to blog, but that’s nothing. I’m a lazy son of a bitch who blows things out of whack. I’ll shut up now and post a video of Charisse.
As my current theme I’ll say what I’m listening to. Chiodos’ Devil.
I Don’t Matter to a Single Soul
I don’t know what to do. I want to be happy and carefree, but I have too many worries. Things would be a tad better if I had someone to talk to. I feel completely isolated and I hate it. I’m a good person, but something’s not right. I’m left on my own with barely any skills to get by. Why am I even still here? It’s confusing for me.
Listening to what got me into music. Who is it? Flyleaf’s debut way back in 2006. Time sure does fly.
Why Do It?
I’m nervous. My surgery is Thursday around noon and I can’t eat breakfast or lunch. That’s going to be difficult, but I’ll manage. Originally I wanted to blog about something else, bug I refuse to preach my beliefs and values. My input means jackshit anyways. Just like my life. Now it turned into a pity party. Oh what fun. Well, anyways I tucked my right hand which means I can’t blog on my computer. I’m forced to do it on my phone and that’s how it’s going to be for 3 months. Fuck this!
Who Am I Really?
I’m not who I should be. I have let so many people down and, yes, I know that it’s my opinion of me that should be the most important, but I can’t help it. My main goal is to develop relationships with others, but with how insecure I am it makes things difficult. I can’t use that as an excuse though. I also have that problem and U need to take responsibility for how my life turned out.
I Need to Stop Lying to Save My Own Skin
I want to find a way to get some kind of enjoyment out of my life. I’m 31 years old and I still don’t want I want. How sad is that? I want to say it could be worse, but if some thing’s don’t improve then it likely will. I’m can only type one-handed right now until my finger feels better so I likely won’t be typing much until it doesn’t hurt when I put pressure on it. That may be a good thing though because nobody wants to hear me complain. It seems like that’s all I’ve doing for the past month or so. I’m stuck in this home, but I’ll still manage to do what I feel like doing. I’m free to do what I please when I’m not in the house. They did search for razors today, but I hid them in a very good place and they’re still in my possession. I don’t know if I’m going to use them tomorrow, but if I do I have to be prepared for whatever. That means a towel and a change of clothes. I can’t find any type of dressing locally so I’ll be without that. I’m cutting fairly deep, but I’m intentionally telling other people about too late for stitches or anything. I want my left arm to look as fucked as possible. I have no intention of living in my 40’s or even 33. I want a job to give me more options to hurt myself. Even if I have to do it illegally.
Who Am I and Why Am I Doing This?
Who am I talking to? Who actually wants to hear me complain day after day? I don’t ever have anything worthwhile to say and nothing to contribute to. I could drop off the face of this Earth and no one will care that I’m long. Why am I even attempting to do anything worthwhile? Everyone hates me and it’s time to admit that I just don’t matter and likely never will. It’s sad to think about, but it’s time to be honest. I should just do what I’ve been wanting to do for a while now. I’m scared to do that though because I can’t get anyone else involved. It’s not anyone will care anyways so what’s truly stopping me?
There Is No Such Thing As White Privilege
People piss me off. I don’t even know why I have black friends on Facebook. All they do is post offensive things about white people and talk about how everyone is out to kill black people. I can’t stand people and it’s better for me to either unfriend them or abandon my Facebook altogether. Why is it okay for black people to be racist? That’s what I don’t understand. People that complain about racism are more racist than what’s directed towards them. There are black people only benefits, but I want a black person to tell me one thing that they can’t do. I fucking hate society.
One Day At a Time 