I’m just not thinking this through properly. I left that place because I wasn’t going to be hospitalized eventually and I left to a place with barely any stability. I have my freedom, but at what cost? I hate hearing people argue. When I think about this decision to return was I thinking that things would be different? How stupid could I be? The fear of being forced to do something against my will is driving this. That’s why I have to pursue something I shouldn’t do. That’s looking for housing. I want to be on my own and I’ll accept whatever happens. I want to think about things so I can move forward. I should be working on other things first, but I need to feel at least some level of comfort.
Author: Jeffery
I had a history of being bullied throughout my childhood which led me to have low self-esteem and the desire to not go out much. I also had a breakdown in late 2005 after I let everyone down. That led to self-harm and suicide attempts. I don't know if I want to feel better about myself because I feel worthless and that everything I do is a waste of time. I don't like to be a burden to others so I tend to not ask for assistance that much. I guess it's good to not rely on others because it teaches to solve things on my own. I also had some difficulty with academics and was tempted to quit high school, but I worked through that and got my high school diploma. I worked my ass off for that thing as well!
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One Day At a Time 