I was so upset today that I punched a wall. I’m not hurt that bad, but I did make my knuckles bleed a bit. My urges to cut are extremely high and I’m going to sneak off somewhere and do it. The people in this house can’t do anything about it because I’m not doing it on their property. No one can stop this and if someone sees then fuck them. I can’t do this. I don’t feel that stable right now and I’m just going to walk out of the house and do it. I have the blades in my pocket. I’m prepared to use them in a half hour. I just need to find some place to do it.
Day: June 24, 2015
I Don’t Like My Meds
I was so drowsy and dizzy after I took my meds last night. I was playing on my DS and I had to fight to stay awake. I also was lightheaded when I woke up to use the bathroom. My self-harm urges are also pretty high at the moment and I’m hoping this little post will make me feel better. I’m so frustrated at the fact that I went to a psychiatric hospital. I don’t think I belong in that type of place, but I guess I had that coming. It’s 6:45 and I’m listening to all 4 All Shall Perish albums. Yes, I’m a fan of deathcore and I find no problem in that. I can’t wait to listen to Thy Art Is Murder’s Holy War.
One Day At a Time 