I don’t know how to explain my behavior. I refuse to help myself and maybe I should just take a break from this blog. I have no one to talk to about things and I’m using this a tool somehow. I need to remember that I don’t want to trigger anyone because I don’t want anyone else doing this. All I know is that this is a never-ending cycle that has to end before I do something. The fear is gone now and the fact that I cut myself as badly as I did around family means that cutting is more important than trust. I think my mom knows and know she refuses to look at me. I think everyone knows now and maybe that would be for the best. I’m tired and I’m just going to lay down for the night. Even though it’s not even 8:00 I don’t want to cause myself any more problems. I wish I had someone to talk to. If I did then I wouldn’t let things build up to this point where I don’t give a fuck who knows what I do or not. I’m not going to read any comments either because I’m too nervous too. I know I have one I have yet to read and I don’t want to know who sent it or what the subject is. Sorry if I upset anyone, but I should call someone. It kind of soaked through the bandage and even though it’s not wet it’s obvious it soaked through. I don’t have a phone right now and I can’t use someone’s. I know someone lives close by, but I can’t bother me him. He might tell someone anyways and I don’t want that.
One Day At a Time 
You should read your comments if you wish someone to chat with. If someone upsets you just delete them 🙂 I’m not a self-harmer so I don’t fear your triggering me by reading what you write.
I hope you are ok!
I’ve been there. Here if you want to talk.
I understand, going through it now and the past seven years of my life. And I’m only 20. Seriously here if needed.