Why Be Embarrassed?

I’m nervous about anything sexual.  I don’t know why I have a hard time with people knowing I masturbate.  It’s not something I should be embarrassed about.  I’m uneasy about this topic, but I have to touch on this subject to see if I’m alone in this.  I’m definitely attracted to women so I guess I’m not asexual.  That’s good for me, but I don’t see myself going into a relationship ever.  It’s not for me at all.  I’m so shy I won’t know what to do anyways.  I do wish I had a partner though, but maybe it’s not meant to be.  Now or anytime soon.  I’m not saying never because I know I’ll change my mind eventually.  There’s just one problem.  I won’t meet anyone if I secluded myself like I do.

Not a Fan of That

I don’t like being around other people that force their views upon you unwillingly.  That’s the main reason why I refuse to comment on some things.  Not that my views should have any effect on anyone anyways.  The thing is that some Christians like to talk about the bible to you and you just nod along and pretend you know what they’re talking about.  When I was at the afc house the person that owned the place told me I was a Mark 3.  When he said that to me a couple of months ago I was curious to know what he meant by that and I couldn’t figure it out.  I was just thinking about that and I did some more searching and I finally know what he meant.  It’s cute of him to assume I knew what he was talking about since he knew I’m an Atheist.  I know that no 2 people are exactly the same which is why I’m comfortable being around other people who think differently than me.  I just don’t like being told what to do and the fact that I can only eat what I want to eat made things even more complicated.  I wish I wasn’t such a picky eater, but that’s something I just can’t work on.  The fact that I was living off of what I was in all the proof I need.  I need to think about what I want out of life so I can live more independently.  I guess that’s why I have to distance myself from all safe situations.  If I get comfortable then I get stubborn.  When I get stubborn I make stupid decisions.  The fact that I was up all night which means a slow day ahead just pisses me off.  I can’t deal with that.  I just do not look forward to being up 24 hours.  I’m just going to lay down and listen to some music.