I’m stupid. I should’ve bled to death. I’m unhappy and I want to self-harm, but I know what will happen if I get caught. More restrictions. No one can protect me forever. It’s either overdose or do what I did in the hospital. Stab myself with a pen. I have a spare and it’s getting to the point when I have to act on it. No one will ever know. Unless I do something to give it away. That’s a given unfortunately.
Author: Jeffery
I had a history of being bullied throughout my childhood which led me to have low self-esteem and the desire to not go out much. I also had a breakdown in late 2005 after I let everyone down. That led to self-harm and suicide attempts. I don't know if I want to feel better about myself because I feel worthless and that everything I do is a waste of time. I don't like to be a burden to others so I tend to not ask for assistance that much. I guess it's good to not rely on others because it teaches to solve things on my own. I also had some difficulty with academics and was tempted to quit high school, but I worked through that and got my high school diploma. I worked my ass off for that thing as well!
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One Day At a Time 
a spare pen? stabbing yourself seems a little overkill if you’re not looking to take the path of suicide. but it’s hard for me to assume at this point.
take care of yourself. you’re not the piece of shit you seem to think you are. maybe instead of wholesale stabbing, you could fashion it into something more for cutting and then focus on a place other than your main healing wounds.