I don’t know why I always think like this. I feel way to dependent and I’m too scared to do anything with my life. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could just do something right for once. Will there be a time in my life when I can look back at this and realize that this just isn’t me anymore? I guess in a way. I love how I realize how many changes I need to make, but have no desire to do anything about it. It could be laziness, but it could also be fear. Fear of what? I’ve always been shy and feel like I’m not good enough. When I was in school I remember hiding my report cards that came in the mail. I got away with that and I wonder why.
Author: Jeffery
I had a history of being bullied throughout my childhood which led me to have low self-esteem and the desire to not go out much. I also had a breakdown in late 2005 after I let everyone down. That led to self-harm and suicide attempts. I don't know if I want to feel better about myself because I feel worthless and that everything I do is a waste of time. I don't like to be a burden to others so I tend to not ask for assistance that much. I guess it's good to not rely on others because it teaches to solve things on my own. I also had some difficulty with academics and was tempted to quit high school, but I worked through that and got my high school diploma. I worked my ass off for that thing as well!
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One Day At a Time 